Chuckle in Your Day

[mac11irl]

Similar to the Moment of Joy but a bit different. 

This is for that moment in your day that just made you laugh.

Be it at yourself or someone else for doing or saying something stupid, or a particular comment  / response you heard/read during the day.

Its not for jokes per-say, just that thing that gave you a giggle or a laugh out loud minute during the day.. 

 

I'll start below..

Edited 18 March, 2019 by mac11irl

[mac11irl]

So, my son has a "shop" now in his room, i

He sells everything from pizza, cereals, moisturiser, dishwasher tablets and even wallpaper! 

The MIL arrived over with more bits for his shop on Friday... 8 EIGHT empty and (she said) washed out airplane size (50ml) Jack Daniels bottles she had been keeping from her recent flights... its for his off license dept... exactly what a 4yr old needs in their pretend shop

 

today i realised 1 bottle wasnt quite fully rinsed out... and then another.. 

 

Yup..  5 out of 8 still had booze in them... seriously...  

 

I had to laugh... nothing else was even possible

 

 

 

[Titanium_Man]

Arrived at Gatwick after three weeks away getting married and having our honeymoon to find we’ve booked the National Express back to Bristol for tomorrow night and not this evening   

[mac11irl]

Well.... at least you didnt have it booked for yesterday @jars

Congratulations again on the big day

 

[Titanium_Man]

1 minute ago, mac11irl said:

Well.... at least you didnt have it booked for yesterday @jars

Congratulations again on the big day

 

That’s what the bloke at the counter said   That save me about £9 changing it rather than buying a new ticket 

 

Thank you, Mac 

[john999boy]

Passing through a Spanish airport recently and was surprised to hear an attendant asking for people over 60 to go in a separate queue.

This bypassed the biometric machines which obviously would cause people over that age to go into overload! 

[Aspman]

statements from younger members of the team today to make me feel ancient -

 

What's Hooch?

Did raves really happen in fields?

 

[mac11irl]

Went to get chips to go with dinner, brought spuderick with me. 

While waiting i asked him how was school, what were they doing etc. 

He told me that all next week, they will ONLY be doing colouring, every day!

I asked him why..

"Because we are going to be colouring in all little teapots for...

SAINT mothers day"

 

the confusion stemming from ST Patricks Day last week

 

 

 

[VWD]

(Suspend as in Word Thesaurus means "to hang/dangle or swing, amongs other things, more apparent to the native English speaker).

 

Driving round the West midlands  I notice that a  lot of bus stops have been "suspended" whilst road works are performed. I also note that there's no roads work guarding around the signs in case they fall. Or is this only done when the bus stops are raised above road height? This is the impression that our non native speakers might get reading the signs and seeing the rise in prevention of making claims easy. .

[Aspman]

Looking at houses. Get a call from estate agent. A house is maybe coming back on the market, their chain has broken and they're looking for someone who can complete quickly (I can).

 

We view, it's nice but a long way off my dream home and overpriced imho.

Next day I say to estate agent. We like it, it's not perfect but we'd be willing to make an offer. What are they realistically looking for in the circumstances, remember this is the equivalent of me saying "how much for cash"?

 

Phones back "We'll the deal they would like to offer is if you'd like to pay the same as the offer that fell through".

This was, £35k over the asking price, to complete within 2 weeks and I'd be left unable to move until the summer.

Made me laugh anyway. Not sure the estate agent appreciate that.

 

The follow up of "but it's valued at £xyz" got a response of "well go and ask the surveyor for the money then".

 

 

[shyVRS245]

Cheap fix on the front fence which took a bit of a battering in the recent strong winds. Used 3 one metre pieces of twine (string for the younger Briskodians). Had the feeling someone was watching me and thought it might be my racist next door neighbour from his Juliet Balcony (our lounge is upstairs and has opening patio style doors). When I had completed my DIY job turned round to see all 5 feet 6" inches of him about 2 metres behind me doing his best TUT TUT as if to say he could a better job. Well I was never in the Scouts as a lad or the Army for 24 years like him so I just let out a big belly laugh and wandered back into my house with a big smile on my face. One day he may figure out why he has no friends. Tends to judge everyone, call everyone bad names because he's so perfect.

[Gaz]

Sat idly watching the world go by, and one of the local dog owners walks by on her usual evening stroll with her Rotty.  It's a very handsome dog - I like seeing it.  Kid goes haring past from behind on one of these little push along scooters.  He startled the dog, and the owner, who said something I couldn't quite hear.  Youth turned around and started on some choice obscenities that I could hear.  Unfortunately for said youth, his little-wheeled scooter must have caught the grass verge, because it stopped dead.  While one shouldn't laugh at others misfortune, a law of physics came into effect and as the scooter flipped, the handlebars levered him down into the grass verge so fast that he didn't have time to let go of them, before getting a face and mouthful of grass verge.  Dogs often pause on this verge to let other dogs know they've been there, so I doubt it tasted purely of grass   He seemed physically uninjured, but was less vocal (to the point of silence) as he got back up and toddled off.

 

Sometimes the simple lessons in life are the most valuable!

 

Gaz

[Aspman]

Tumble dryer packed in at the weekend. Washer was also leaking so bit the bullet and ordered new ones of both yesterday (Sunday afternoon). Good news was that AO said they would deliver next day for free.

 

7am today I get a call.

 

This is the driver just checking where you are we think we're outside. Behind the bus stop yes?

 

Yep that right #5. I can't see you. Are you sure?

 

Aye, we've just passed #3 in xyz street.

 

That's right but I can't see you and I'm looking right at the bus stop

 

Aye xyz street, you're just up from the chippy?

 

You're in the wrong town....

 

They were only 5 miles away.

Their sat nav only gave them a street and a county. Unluckily pretty much every town in this county has at least one street with the same name as mine.

 

[KenONeill]

Almost every town (and most cities) in Scotland has a "High Street" or a "Main Street".

[Guest]

This came up in my YouTube feed today. 

 

Rammstein's 'Du Hast' in Yiddish! 

 

 

 

Gets the original version for comparison

 

 

 

Oi vey! 

[shyVRS245]

1 hour ago, Fin69 said:

This came up in my YouTube feed today. 

 

Rammstein's 'Du Hast' in Yiddish! 

 

 

 

Gets the original version for comparison

 

 

 

Oi vey! 

Jeremy Corbin's favourite Yiddish band apparently.

[Titanium_Man]

The bus driver flashing me as I legally went around him on a 2 lane road as I knew I would have gotten stuck behind him for a couple of miles going through a village we were coming to   

Edited 5 April, 2019 by jars

[Guest]

I'll just leave this here.... 

[KenONeill]

3 minutes ago, Fin69 said:

I'll just leave this here.... 

"Ain't no man takin' that route with me!!

[shyVRS245]

Somebody needs to put some vinyl tape over "Car Park".

[john999boy]

Nice footwear for supermarket shopping!

[J.R.]

I have that to look forward to in a couple of weeks, I go through it every 5 years, they are even paying for a medical taxi for me there and back.

 

Its what they do before the endoscope that makes your eyes water, think of inflating a long sausage balloon

[KenONeill]

Describing the eject operation on my new DVD player, I find it easier to go over to the TV and press the black button labelled in black on a black background than to use the remote control.

[mac11irl]

Young lad heads for the back door into the garden...

 

I ask him... "buddy, did you put on your outdoor trousers yourself?" 

"Yeah, i did..."

"Okay.. have fun"

"Thanks" he says, as he wanders across the lawn to his shed with his trousers on backwards

 

[shyVRS245]

11 minutes ago, mac11irl said:

Young lad heads for the back door into the garden...

 

I ask him... "buddy, did you put on your outdoor trousers yourself?" 

"Yeah, i did..."

"Okay.. have fun"

"Thanks" he says, as he wanders across the lawn to his shed with his trousers on backwards

 

Perhaps he knows he will require a poo before a wee?