Chuckle in Your Day

[mac11irl]

Actually, was one the Kilmarnock player "John B " by any chance...

[VWD]

Possibly needs translating for our southern readers.

Line from an old edition of Taggart . ( who was reputed to be a keen Partick Thistle supporter).

On being informed of a murder ,the character's lines included "there's murder done at Firhill every second Saturday") .

I had success with something similar years ago.  My accent has a lot left of my association with Clydeside. Years ago, I had a part time Taxi job, and this particular Saturday I picked up two Glaswegan spoken gents on the merry side of sober. Hearing my accent I got asked the question"which team ( in their minds there are only two ) do you support". As Ken and possibly mac know, it's not about your football preference. My reply "Partick Thistle".  End of discussion.

[Guest]

Currently waiting at Clydebank Station on a train home. 

 

I think I've discovered where they film The Walking Dead. 

[shyVRS245]

4 minutes ago, Fin69 said:

Currently waiting at Clydebank Station on a train home. 

 

I think I've discovered where they film The Walking Dead. 

Bet you don't stand on the platform and shout that out nice and loud?

[KenONeill]

On 19/08/2019 at 11:58, Fin69 said:

Currently waiting at Clydebank Station on a train home.

I know what you're doing!   You'll probably get a call from them when the job's done, and certainly if there's any additional work they recommend.

[KenONeill]

@Fin69 @shyVRS245 What do you call a drunk man on Kilbowie Road? (the one that runs roughly North - South just west of Clydebank station. I think Fin may have been on it earlier.)

 

The man from Atlantis!

[shyVRS245]

6 minutes ago, KenONeill said:

@Fin69 @shyVRS245 What do you call a drunk man on Kilbowie Road? (the one that runs roughly North - South just west of Clydebank station. I think Fin may have been on it earlier.)

 

The man from Atlantis!

Is that because he smells fishy?

[Guest]

15 minutes ago, shyVRS245 said:

Is that because he smells fishy?

The Atlantis is a pub on Kilbowie road. Never had the displeasure of drinking in there.

 

As far as I can remember! 

 

Though I have drunk, and been drunk, in far, far worse places. 

 

[shyVRS245]

1 minute ago, Fin69 said:

The Atlantis is a pub on Kilbowie road. Never had the displeasure of drinking in there.

 

As far as I can remember! 

 

Though I have drunk, and been drunk, in far, far worse places. 

 

Are we talking Ken's local watering hole?

[shyVRS245]

Once saw a Scuba Club called Atlantis but the locals warned me to stay away. When I asked why they said the place was a bit of a Dive and they specialised in Muff Diving Courses.

[KenONeill]

Well, the Atlantis is most certainly a dive; it's also just beside the entrance to Clydebank's other station.

[mac11irl]

[shyVRS245]

16 minutes ago, mac11irl said:

It's the man from Atlantis. Looks like he's wearing the correct PPE to keep out any unwanted pubic hairs.

[Aspman]

3 hours ago, Fin69 said:

Currently waiting at Clydebank Station on a train home. 

 

I think I've discovered where they film The Walking Dead. 

 

3 hours ago, shyVRS245 said:

Bet you don't stand on the platform and shout that out nice and loud?

 

Everyone knows you don't make loud noises near the walking dead 😀

I've been on that platform and a few others in the less touristic areas of Glasgow.

 

But I'd say Easterhouse in Edinburgh could give it a run for it money or even South Street in Perth.

I'm in South Street regularly. I think there is rarely a full set of teeth in the full street. I've see such joys as the teenage mum with a pram boasting to her pals about going into the Sally Army for a 'free' coffee by pretending to be homeless; a varied selection of meths and paint drinkers, a few guys boasting about just getting out the gaol and many other Trainspottering sights. 

[shyVRS245]

20 minutes ago, Aspman said:

 

 

Everyone knows you don't make loud noises near the walking dead 😀

I've been on that platform and a few others in the less touristic areas of Glasgow.

 

But I'd say Easterhouse in Edinburgh could give it a run for it money or even South Street in Perth.

I'm in South Street regularly. I think there is rarely a full set of teeth in the full street. I've see such joys as the teenage mum with a pram boasting to her pals about going into the Sally Army for a 'free' coffee by pretending to be homeless; a varied selection of meths and paint drinkers, a few guys boasting about just getting out the gaol and many other Trainspottering sights. 

Real tourists actually visit Glasgow?

[mac11irl]

My SIL is a primary school teacher in a "less-tourist-friendly" parts of Glasgow. And her husband is a fire fighter... lets just leave it at "ive heard some stories" ....

[KenONeill]

On 19/08/2019 at 15:38, shyVRS245 said:

Real tourists actually visit Glasgow?

{swims up, sniffs bait, and swims away}

[shyVRS245]

2 minutes ago, KenONeill said:

{swims up, sniffs bait, and swims away}

Glasgow is like a McDonalds to us best sampled as a Drive Thru.⛔

[lancpudn]

Airplane!


As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces,
"If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks,
"Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!

[Guest]

There's been an attempted uprising at Old Macdonald's Farm. They're not sure who started it,  but they believe it may have been a coup.

[VWD]

8 hours ago, KenONeill said:

Well, the Atlantis is most certainly a dive; it's also just beside the entrance to Clydebank's other station.

There was ( possibly still is ) a pub in Dunfermline called "somewhere else". Ideal for when you got fed up with things. You could ( truthfully) tell the wife "I'm going somewhere else".

Good one liners -- It saw him scoop the 12th annual Joke Of The Fringe award, sponsored by the comedy TV channel Dave.

It goes: "I keep randomly shouting out ‘broccoli’ and ‘cauliflower’ – I think I might have florets."

And Falafel, 42, didn't pass up the opportunity to dish out another grub pun as he celebrated his achievement.

He said of the award: "This is a fantastic honour but it’s like I’ve always said, jokes about white sugar are rare, jokes about brown sugar... Demerara."

POSSIBLY MOST TOPICAL WAS THE THIRD

And in third was Milton Jones with his politics-themed gag: "What's driving Brexit? From here it looks like it's probably the Duke of Edinburgh."

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/9749460/swedish-comedian-broccoli-joke-best-gag-edinburgh-fringe/

[mac11irl]

When Thule is too expensive...

 

 

I couldnt not take a snap...

[shyVRS245]

25 minutes ago, mac11irl said:

When Thule is too expensive...

 

 

I couldnt not take a snap...

They say that the simple solution is often the best solution (and the cheapest in this case). That must be a special Irish dealer option.

[Guest]

2 hours ago, mac11irl said:

When Thule is too expensive...

 

 

I couldnt not take a snap...

But you did! BD

[Guest]

I got an email trying to encourage me to rejoin my gym.

 

Anyone else got a sneaky suspicion the person in the phot may have a penchant for pegging??