Chuckle in Your Day

[shyVRS245]

If I worked for Nigel Farage as a Public Relations guru then I would suggest MILKING the current obsession with trying to cover him with McDonalds products by advertising their range of drinks with a punchline like "TOO GOOD TO WASTE JUST BE SELFISH AND ENJOY IT ALL TO YOURSELF" with Nige giving it a big cheesy grin. Or picking his freshly cleaned suit from a well known Dry Cleaners with the punchline "FOR THOSE UNEXPECTED MOMENTS".

[MikeTheThinker]

7 hours ago, shyVRS245 said:

If I worked for Nigel Farage as a Public Relations guru

 

Perhaps he sgould be sponsored by DAIRY QUEEN?

 

[Aspman]

Feeding Carolina Reaper flavoured peanuts to the solicitors.

 

I like a bit of heat and can eat them one or two at a time. That's enough to lure in the show offs. Much fun followed.

Funnily enough the office girls had a much higher tolerance for them than the men.

 

for info I was at the Food and Drink show (and Ideal home show) at Glasgow on Friday. The guy from "The Nut Shack" was there and I bought his show pack of nuts.

https://thenutshack.co.uk/

 

I'm not affiliated in any way btw, but he was a very nice chap to have a chat with. The Reaper nuts are fun but not really that nice to eat. The Piri Piri and Habenero ones are very nice. They do a subscription but I'm not sure I eat enough nuts for that.

 

The pack included some even hotter nuts in a teeny jar. They've got Naga Viper , Ghost chili and Scorpion chili (Moruga? Trinidad?) on them. I didn't realise the Reaper chili was hotter.

[KenONeill]

11 minutes ago, Aspman said:

They do a subscription but I'm not sure I eat enough nuts for that

If you have a local shop that does Green City wholefoods wasabi peanuts, they're sort of "Russian roulette" hot. Sometimes you get one that will blow your head off, but other times you can eat several one by one and feel fine.

[Aspman]

Just now, KenONeill said:

If you have a local shop that does Green City wholefoods wasabi peanuts, they're sort of "Russian roulette" hot. Sometimes you get one that will blow your head off, but other times you can eat several one by one and feel fine.

 

I'm not so keen on wasabi nuts. I prefer a chili heat to a horseradish/mustard heat. It's too much like having ammonia up your nose.

 

I was discussing the reaper nuts with a paralegal (he could take the heat), we both agreed the reaper was a bit odd almost like a numbing menthol sensation.

[KenONeill]

5 minutes ago, Aspman said:

I'm not so keen on wasabi nuts. I prefer a chili heat to a horseradish/mustard heat.

Fair enough; I just thought that knowing where you could get something by way of a hot peanut retail might be of interest.

[Aspman]

Just now, KenONeill said:

Fair enough; I just thought that knowing where you could get something by way of a hot peanut retail might be of interest.

 

suggestion still appreciated

 

 

[shyVRS245]

4 minutes ago, Aspman said:

 

suggestion still appreciated

 

 

SWMBO doesn't like warm or even hot nuts.

[Aspman]

33 minutes ago, shyVRS245 said:

SWMBO doesn't like warm or even hot nuts.

 

Betty Swallocks?

[shyVRS245]

2 minutes ago, Aspman said:

 

Betty Swallocks?

Brazil or Cashew.

[Breezy_Pete]

The giggling that followed Matt's statement about having been looking at 'massive holes' on tonight's One Show.

[mac11irl]

I Ended up reading a 4yr old Rolling Stone interview with Terence Howard, as it was linked in another article.. because of this..

Sorry its a screenshot, it kept copying an ad script or something while trying to copy out the text.

 

 

Truly, he is a special type... domestic abuser for instance.. maker of weird plastic crap that "proves his true maths theory" and he also claims that he got Robert Downey Jr the first Iron Man role, as he was signed up first, and that RDJ then offered no help for him when he was offered less money and then replaced for IM 2  

 

yeah, i got a good laugh..  other than the hitting his wives stuff. That **** just aint right and should be prosecuted..

 

[shyVRS245]

Anyone who really enjoys a chuckle check out the half mile drag race between the Darkside Developments diesel Arosa (SEAT) and a 592bhp BMW M5. You probably guessed but the BMW does not win despite the Arosa being front wheel drive. It is very light and quite powerful however. Worth a view and a good question to pose down the pub.

[KenONeill]

11 hours ago, mac11irl said:

4yr old Rolling Stone interview with Terence Howard

I have no idea who this guy is, but I'm scared that the levels of stupid and arrogant shown may be catching! ;) 

[shyVRS245]

15 minutes ago, KenONeill said:

I have no idea who this guy is, but I'm scared that the levels of stupid and arrogant shown may be catching!

Guess it's the 50 year old Terrence Howard American movie actor who got sacked from the first Iron Man movie. He was to play War Machine which was then offered to Don Cheadle. Seems to have had a few issues being told what to do in his roles and managed to have 5 children between his domestic abuse periods.

Edited 29 May, 2019 by shyVRS245
missing word

[mac11irl]

@shyVRS245 correct.. on all counts.

 

He actually appears to be a complete jackass of a human being...

Currently in Empire, because the female lead worked with him on "The Best Man" and said  "Terrence would be the best guy to play alongside her in Empire" 

[Aspman]

Went to see Bill Bailey last night; very funny.

I was literally crying with laughter  at his heavy metal house skit.

 

Highlight was also his description of Brois Johnson  - The bloated carcass of an albino fur seal

[Wet Kipper]

excellent - we're going tomorrow evening

[shyVRS245]

Only the second time I've played fuel range roulette. Left home today with indicated 65 miles in the tank and got 50 miles to drive to get back to the local Shell garage. That will be 426 miles with about 10 left in the tank but probably only squeeze 48 litres in. That will be 16 commutes including 224 roundabouts plus some local stuff.

Edited 30 May, 2019 by shyVRS245
missing word

[Aspman]

2 hours ago, Wet Kipper said:

excellent - we're going tomorrow evening

 

Good stuff, you'll enjoy it.

First half was funny, second half broke me. My face hurt so much from laughing.

 

The boy can play and hold a tune as well

 

I bought a tea towel as well -

Edited 30 May, 2019 by Aspman

[mac11irl]

I like Bill Bailey. He is genuinely funny and also quite knowledgeable about his subject matter.

 

I like his Latin Tag Line on that Tea towel  it, being a tea towel, reminds  me of part of one of his old shows, discussing how he liked to use a pyrex dish as a window to the stuff in the sink while doing the washing up.. 

 

[mac11irl]

I got my payslip this morning at 930am, which also contained most, but not all, of an overdue Overtime claim, which had been the subject of debate yesterday between my Line manager, dept accountant, payroll, and a HR body. They wouldnt process it as it wasnt an original signature...

At 936am i got a further email from the HR body to say the claim couldnt be resubmitted based off my boss emailing a verification that it was his signature.. so it wouldnt be processed.. basically i wasnt getting it until the end of June. But... i got 75% of what was overdue on a payslip 6mins earlier 

 

oh the efficiency of a large organisations bureaucracy.. 

[shyVRS245]

8 hours ago, shyVRS245 said:

Only the second time I've played fuel range roulette. Left home today with indicated 65 miles in the tank and got 50 miles to drive to get back to the local Shell garage. That will be 426 miles with about 10 left in the tank but probably only squeeze 48 litres in. That will be 16 commutes including 224 roundabouts plus some local stuff.

Just made it squeezed in 48.57 litres for an average of 39.88mpg.

[mac11irl]

Spuderick and I went to visit my mother this afternoon. 

On the way, a man was waving down traffic while on his phone. I assumed .... cows crossing the road.. then i saw a loose horse on the grass verge. Except.. it was a horse.

 

It was a Llama 

 

 

Yup.. a Llama, (or an Alpaca, im not sure the difference) roaming the byroads around the teeny village of Golden, Tipperary. I was a mile up the road when it actually sank in and i realisd... ****e shouldve taken a photo..

 

[Aspman]

chuckling at the fake "I met Keanu Reeves" stories in the Guardian comments -

 

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2019/jun/04/keanu-stories-fans-share-unexpected-meetings-with-sweet-quiet-nervous-reeves

 

i.e. -

 

Quote

I was once taking a dump in the Welcome Break off the M6 Keele - would you believe it, there was no toilet paper. Someone in the next stall obviously heard me grumbling as I was tearing strips off the cardboard roll because a hand with a fresh roll suddenly appeared from beneath the cubicle wall. I can't be certain, but it looked a lot like Keanu Reeves' hand.